The Audacity of Brainwashing

You never really know what to expect during a general election year, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by anything.  But I don’t expect to see an eight-year-old sporting political gear.

That’s exactly what I saw today at my stepson’s baseball practice.  I stopped short of asking young Harrison why, in fact, he’s an Obama supporter, but he clearly is.  Harrison was sporting the official “Obama ‘08″  campaign t-shirt while manning first base for much of practice.  It took a lot of mental strength to keep me from asking if he understood the significance of his attire.  And I had follow-up questions too.

“What do you think of Senator Obama’s health care plan?”

“How quickly would you like to see troops withdrawn from Iraq?”

“Are you familiar with Jeremiah Wright?”

“Which phrase do you prefer?  God Bless America or God Damn America?”

Now Harrison is big for his age, so he could probably easily be mistaken for a 10-year-old.  But that’s still almost a decade shy of making it to the voting booth.  Kudos to the kid for getting educated early.

I’d still recommend he focus his energy on groundballs, Fruit Loops and Nickelodeon.

The Bulls Lose Again

So Chicago Bulls boss Jerry Reinsdorf feels misled by Mike D’Antoni, the coach he let slip away to New York.  

Misled.  That seems pretty appropriate for the Bulls, a team for which I once had a much stronger sense of loyalty.  The term I’ve used most often over the past two seasons has been “directionless.”  I guess my thought was that they were being led nowhere, which tends to have a similar effect to being led in the wrong direction.      

The non-hire of Mike D’Antoni is just another blunder in recent Bulls history, as the franchise has worked quickly to derail the upward momentum it seemed to be riding just three years ago.   The Bulls won 47 games in 2005, earning the Eastern Conference’s #4 seed in the playoffs.  Though they were ousted in the first round by Washington, the future appeared bright.  The Bulls’ three best players - Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich and Luol Deng - had a combined four years of service in the league.

But the Bulls didn’t have a draft pick in 2005, and after finishing an even .500 the following year, the team’s one glaring weakness was obvious:  The need for an interior scorer to complement the talented young group that had been built in the backcourt and on the wing. 

So what did GM John Paxson decide to do with the #2 overall pick in the ‘06 draft?  Yes, he drafted a big man, LaMarcus Aldridge of Texas.  Aldridge is long and skilled, and in two years of college ball showed he could play with his back to the basket and face up against his defender.  Perfect … except the Bulls never intended to keep him.  Instead, they traded their newest piece of the puzzle to Portland for LSU’s Tyrus Thomas, a one-year collegian who was a clearly more of a project. 

Paxson and crew also dipped into the free agent pool for all of the wrong reasons during that off-season, paying big money for a big man whose game was strictly limited to defense and rebounding - Ben Wallace.  Definitely a great asset on the interior, but his acquisition showcased further ignorance toward what the team truly needed.  Still, the Bulls were good enough last year to win nearly 50 games and advance past the first round of the playoffs.  And, again, a previous deal left them with a lottery pick in the draft and a chance to address their true need.  The solution:  Joakim Noah, another non-traditional big man.  Though Noah doesn’t have the athleticism as Thomas, his game is similar.  They’re both energy players who don’t project as legitimate post scoring threats over the course of the careers.  Frankly, they each look more like a sixth man to me.  Oh, and they’ve both proven to have attitude problems.

So, despite the mediocrity of the Eastern Conference again this season, I wasn’t too surprised to have watched the Bulls crash and burn.  They targeted Pau Gasol via trade for two years but failed to put together a reasonable package for him.  Ditto for Kevin Garnett, who everyone knew was available this past off-season.  But they didn’t need to craft a great deal for Aldridge; all they had to do was draft him and keep him.  The Portland big man finished his sophomore NBA season with averages of just under 18 points and 8 boards per game.  How would that have that have looked in Chicago this year?  (By the way, Thomas averaged about seven points and five boards in ‘07-08.)

Having Aldridge on the roster would have justified the Ben Wallace signing, giving you the defense and rebounding machine to go alongside a true post player.  How about a lineup of Hinrich, Gordon, Deng, Aldridge and Wallace?  No way that team would have missed the playoffs.

Mike D’Antoni may not have been the answer for the Bulls, but he was the obvious choice among available candidates.  Reinsdorf says it seemed clear that Chicago was D’Antoni’s preferred fit, and there was no rush to get an offer to him before last weekend.  That’s how he was misled. 

Well, maybe you should take priority in grabbing what you want, Jerry.  If you find the guy you want, take him.  Just don’t trade him before giving him a chance.

         

 

Cloudy Skies for My Television

So it’s Saturday night, and guess what I’m looking forward to? 

Watching one of my favorite television shows in a first-run episode.  No, my taste for television isn’t so bad that I’m reliant upon Saturday night programming (is there anything original on Saturdays anyway?).  And, no, I’m not digging back into my DVR to catch up from earlier in the week.

I’m watching Lost, which is being aired on my local ABC affiliate tonight at 10:35 … and I’ll get to watch it with sidebars on the screen rather than in full HD!

Those who don’t reside in my part of the country - but do pay attention to the national news - probably know that the Midwest was peppered with some pretty solid spring storms late in the work week.  Straight-line winds, a few minor tornadoes briefly touched down, and there was some damage that appeared rather compelling.  So it seems logical that most of our Thursday night was dominated by local meterologists on our televisions.  But, as you may have guessed, I have several problems with this. 

First of all, I have HDTV, which means I have two of every local channel.  Why do both frequencies have to be ruined by weather coverage?  What I’m looking for with my HD feed is a message in the corner that reads something along the lines of,  ”For severe weather info, please tune to analog channel.”   

Too much to ask?  Consider this: Two of our local channels also have a 24-hour weather channel on our digital tier.  Why not steer viewers to those otherwise useless spots on the dial?  These also just so happen to be the ABC and NBC affiliates, which were the ones I needed Thursday to watch Lost and The Office. 

Point #3:  Three of the four local KC stations own “sister channels” within the market, Fox being the only one which doesn’t.  ABC owns the channel that doubles as our CW affiliate, while NBC and CBS run UHF frequencies that seem to only exist to air poor local programming and reruns of South Park and King of Queens.  What I’m trying to say is that, as a digital cable/HD customer, I had 16 local channels that broadcast pretty much nothing but weather coverage Thursday night. 

Is it important to cover severe weather?  Absolutely.  Don’t think I don’t understand that.  But, like the storm cells that approach, things aren’t always terribly organized.  Maybe the forced transition to digital television in 2009 will help me cause.

*****

A little salt for my wound:  The local NBC affiliate has announced that ER will re-air this weekend, but the rest of its usual Thursday night lineup will not.  I bet I can watch The Office online at NBC.com, but forgive me for not getting too excited.  I bought a large HD television for a reason, and I’d prefer not to watch one of my favorite shows on my 17″ computer screen.

And who watches ER these days anyway?  I saw the promo for this week:  “The ER held hostage!”  How many times have they gone to that well?

How about for next week a crazy storm wreaks havoc on the ER?  Oh, they’ve probably already done that before too.

Fox Follies

Fox Sports sucks.

I hate to beat the same drum repeatedly, but it’s hard not to do so when I’m constantly reminded of this fact.  And it didn’t take too long today.

My remote clicked me over to the local Fox affiliate at 2:44 so I’d be just in time for the first pitch of the Cubs-Cards game.  I figured that would save me from the pregame bumblings.  Still, I wasn’t saved entirely.  The exact moment I tuned in, I saw the Cubs starting lineup being introduced to viewers.  And it wasn’t just introduced.  It was recited by Cubs pitcher (and prankster) Ryan Dempster who was full into his Harry Caray impersonation.  Seriously, aren’t we long past the days of Harry Caray impressionism? 

Dempster is largely at fault for volunteering such services, but forgive me for assuming some hack from Fox didn’t suggest it.  At the very least, the network accepted it with arms wide open.  I think Joe Buck peed his pants, quickly commenting that tape of Dempster’s high comedy should immediately be sent to the broadcasters’ wing of the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.  So this is how low we have sunk these days?  What compelling television.

Of course, several times during the game I was also reminded of how bad Ken Rosenthal is as a sideline reporter.  Stiffs like Rosenthal are writers for a reason:  They write well.  They don’t broadcast well.  And Buck tried his best to throw in a couple of his lame one-liners as if he were trying out his new stand-up routine.

But, hey, the Cubs beat Buck and McCarver’s favorite team.  The day was a success in that sense, and even Fox couldn’t spoil it. 

Summer Film Slate Finally Packs My Kind of Punch

We’re not exactly in the summer movie season yet, but I feel like it’s already started.  Now that the weather is warming up, so too are our selections at the cinema. 

Now that I’m married with children, I can legitimately only expect to get out to the theater a couple of times a year, and I’m glad one of those occasions was spent Sunday afternoon watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  It’s a great film in the mold of the other Judd Apatow-produced comedies, such as Knocked Up, Superbad and The 40-Year-Old Virgin.  Translation:  There are some great laugh-out-loud moments and, of course, some incredibly crass humor. 

And now I look forward to a very promising slate of summer/late spring films due to hit the big screen in the coming months.  In many ways, I’m acting like Bizarro Steve (that’s me).  I’m not usually into the “summer movie season,” as it too often delivers overboard action flicks that seem to cater to the short-attention-span viewer.  But I’m on board this year.  Here are the top five I’m most looking forward to (in order of release):       

Speed Racer (May 9).  I expect nothing less than a visually stunning thrill ride as the Wachowski brothers put their Matrix-like spin to work on cult anime. Sounds like a dangerous combination, and one that should create quite a movie-going experience. I’m guessing this is one of those films that will be ten times better at the theater than in your living room.

The Incredible Hulk (June 13).  This one’s a little bittersweet. I’ve always been a big fan of the Hulk, and I was one of the few who really enjoyed Ang Lee’s recent adaptation of the not-so-jolly green giant. The story was long on drama rather than action, but Lee’s unique direction effectively cast the mood. Remember, being the Hulk isn’t exactly a glamorous life. But is there any role Ed Norton can’t play? I’m sure he’ll do justice to this one, too.

Wanted (June 27).  James McAvoy goes straight from period romance (Atonement) to an elite assassins club. It’s a premise that seems to start like the Matrix, with a cube-dwelling lead character who has no idea that his life is destined for a greater and much more exciting purpose. That apparent purpose is joining Angelina Jolie and others who possess uncommon agility and skill as they fatally stalk those deserving of a dark fate. One of my favorite actors of all time, Morgan Freeman, is the leader of the deadly fraternity.

Hancock (July 2).  Will Smith is back to being the king of summer blockbusters in this story of a reluctant superhero. The trailer shows that his apathetic rescues often cause as much destruction as relief. I’m guessing the dry humor of Jason Bateman in a supporting role will also be pretty tough to beat.

The Dark Knight (July 18).  The great and dark city of Gotham returns to the big screen, and it almost gives me a chill to see the trailer.  Christopher Nolan’s new Batman franchise got off to a great start earlier in the decade, and it’s hard for me to believe his next chapter would disappoint.  The Heath Ledger factor adds even more buzz, with his final appearance coming in the form of one of the greatest superhero villains of all time.  I can’t wait.

Bonus:  Pineapple Express (August 8).  Count me in for another Judd Apatow comedy, this one starring Seth Rogan and James Franco as stoners on the run from dirty cops.  I’m not into substance abuse, so I certainly hope this doesn’t turn into Half Baked 2; but based on the reputation of this crew, we should be in pretty good hands.

Yes, I know, I just contradicted the hell out myself because I said earlier that I’m not into the big action flicks and then went on to talk about five big action flicks.  But I told you, I guess I’m going to be Bizarro Steve this summer.  (And it helps that I’m a sucker for superheroes and comic book adaptations). 

I don’t for a minute think there’s a way I’ll get out to see six movies over the course of four months, but it’s good to know that I’ll at least have motivation.  God knows there’s always some crap out there too.   More on those later …

NYPD (Real and Fictional) Having Problems

I’m usually at least a day behind on my non-sports TV viewing due to family business and the convenience of the DVR, so I’m surely not among the first bloggers (or the first thousand bloggers) to point out that Law and Order: Special Victims Unit thinks Tom Brady — or someone quite like him — could be gay.

I just got around to watching the New York-based crime drama last night, and the parallels to the presumably-charmed life of the New England quarterback couldn’t be more obvious.  After the apparent murder of a gay man, the sleuths at SVU begin to suspect Lincoln Haver, a man referred to as “the best quarterback in football.”  The fictional QB was also said to be a tabloid regular due to his relationship with a famous supermodel.  Lincoln Haver even wore #12.

If I were among Tom Brady’s ”people” I’d be livid.  It’s bad enough that the paparazzi have been known to chant “Errand Boy” at him as he runs around New York City for Gisele.  Now his fictional clone is a homosexual … not that there’s anything wrong with that (to steal a line from a much better NY-based show).

The SVU episode itself was all over the place, with subplots dealing with media source confidentiality, homophobia, slimy sports agents, and even post-concussion syndrome.  Not to mention a worthless cameo by Bill Pullman and the re-appearance of Beverly D’Angelo as a criminal defense attorney (Wow, I know it’s been a long time, but that can’t really be Ellen Griswold).       

This is a new low for the long-running Law and Order franchise, which has now become too often reliant on its “Ripped from the Headlines” plots.  In the past couple of years I recall such tactics being used to pattern one show after a young celebrity mom whose parenting skills were called into question (Hi, Britney) and another chronicled the death of a bloated, gold digging ex-model (an Anna Nicole Smith clone portrayed disgustingly by Kristy Swanson). 

The writers have now resorted to copying aspects of a famous person’s life, then adding a far-fetched chapter that might raise some eyebrows.  I can’t wait to see what’s next.  

*****

Meanwhile, the real NYPD has problems of its own to deal with, as this morning three officers were acquitted on charges of killing an unarmed man just hours before he was set to get married.  

None of us can pretend to know which side of the story is the most accurate, but there sure is a lot of gray area in between.   On one side, we have three guys (two survived) who were doing nothing wrong whatsoever.  On the other side, there are three officers who felt threatened enough to fire off 50 rounds.   

There is clearly no “right” side of the argument.  But I can’t decide whether it would have been better for the NYPD to have these officers convicted or acquitted.  Either way, they have some very dirty laundry.  They are, however, quite fortunate that two of the three accused officers were African-American, as was the deceased victim.  Otherwise New York may have been living through its own Rodney King riots. 

One thing is for certain:  Whether you’re watching CNN or primetime network programming, it doesn’t seem to be a great time to be a New York cop.

By the Way, There’s a Presidential Primary Today

I just thought everyone should be reminded that there’s a tiny political contest going on today in the Eastern time zone.  You may have heard a bit about it over the past five or six weeks despite your best efforts to focus on other things, such as the NCAA Tournament, Major League Baseball’s opening day(s) and the start of the NBA and NHL Playoffs. 

I’ll surely keep an eye on tonight’s tallies from afar.  Yeah, it’ll get a glance during the commercials of whatever else I’m watching, but that’s it.  I don’t have the stomach for “wall-to-wall” coverage with spit-firing Chris Matthews or the great mumbling Brit Hume.  And it’s a little ironic to say that since one of the alternatives to this week’s political coverage is the spit-firing Stephen A. Smith and the great mumbling Charles Barkley, each mouthing off about hoops.

And just like the NBA Playoffs, the Presidential primary process takes way too long.  So, since we often compare pro basketball to college hoops, why not compare politics to college hoops?  Just like we have an NCAA Tournament Selection Committee, let’s have a Congressional committee choose the field:  Eight candidates seeded 1-8, with head-to-head matchups in a survive-and-advance scenario. 

Here’s how the bracket may have looked last fall.  (And, no, I’m not so naive to think that I’m the first person to have thought of something like this.)

1. Clinton   
8. Kucinich

4. Biden      
5. Dodd

3. Obama
6. Richardson

2. Edwards
7. Vilsack

One round each week, and we’d be done in less than a month.  There would be some full-press campaigning going on throughout the week.  The public – and big business — would save millions of dollars because they wouldn’t have to keep pumping money into the enormous fundraising engines that define politics today. 

We could even have Jim Nantz and Billy Packer call the results on the final night.

“The Clintons are starting to get tired, Jim.”

Or better yet, it could be the blogging world’s favorite play-by-play man, Gus Johnson.

“Obama does it again.  The slipper still fits!”

Whatever the case, it has to be better than what we have today.

Franchise Me

As I once read in a great article a few years back, every NFL player would love to be considered his team’s franchise player but none of them would want to be the team’s Franchise player.  The first reference, of course, refers to the concept of being a pillar of one’s team while the latter speaks to the Franchise tag in terms of the league’s Collective Bargaining Agreement.

The big sports talk here in Kansas City is the fate of prolific Chiefs’ pass rusher Jared Allen, who led the NFL in sacks last year.  Allen, like everyone else in the world, wants more money.  The Chiefs have placed the Franchise tag on Allen, and that translates to a guaranteed 2008 paycheck of roughly $8.9 million.  And if you haven’t had your finger on the pulse of the NFL for a while, then it’s at this point where you should be informed that one-year guaranteed deals just don’t cut it these days — even if those deals are dangerously close to eight figures. 

So guess how the players feel about the idea of the Franchise tag, which was born in 1993.

Being the Franchise player protects teams by allowing them to put off long-term contract negotiations and secure the services of a star player for another year.  And it also protects those players by requiring that anyone who receives the Franchise designation is guaranteed a payday at least equal to the average salary of the top five highest-paid players at the same position.  But, again, it’s not good enough.

Here’s the argument:  If Jared Allen sustains a career-ending injury this season with the Chiefs, all he gets is his measly $8.9 million.  But a long-term deal in the free agent market this off-season might give Allen twice as much in guarantees.  So let’s say Minnesota, one of Allen’s current trade suitors, acquires the disgruntled pass rusher and gives him $19 million in guarantees.  Then Allen sustains the same hypothetical career-ending injury in the ‘08 season.  Now he gets an extra $10 million for doing nothing.  What a great deal for everyone … except the person who has to write the checks.

Players like Allen want an insurance policy — a really expensive one — and they want someone else to pay for it.

My thoughts:  Just play the freaking game.  YOUR representatives in the NFLPA helped make this happen, and it has guaranteed you an enormous paycheck for one year of work.  Take care of your business and you will get the bigger payday that you want.

Bears’ linebacker Lance Briggs put up the same fight prior to the 2007 season before eventually signing his $7+ million Franchise tender.  He went on to have a solid year for a disappointing team, and later accepted a multi-year deal with Chicago.  The new contract, though less lucrative than what Briggs had hoped for, includes guarantees of $12 million.  Added to the previous year’s Franchise fee, Briggs got his $20 million.  He just had to play out the 2007 season in order to do it. 

Cry me a freaking river.

*****

Note:  I’m not the kind of person who sits back and says, “Oh my God, I can’t believe anyone would complain about making that much money.”  I understand that it’s not that simple.  It actually is quite simple, though, because it deals with the concept of fair market value.  That’s what these guys want.  But the teams are just playing by the rules as they were laid out in the CBA.  If it’s such a sore spot, and it obviously is, then the Players’ Association has to make it a serious point of contention for the next CBA.  End of story.     

 

Can This Year Actually Be Next Year?

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but we never seem to realize that until we actually get over to that proverbial other side.  Likewise with the idea of “next year.”  We hear it all the time in sports, and next year always seems to bring a great deal of promise.

It’s only April and I’m already looking forward to next year.  My alma mater is coming off of its best football season in nearly a decade and its first Rose Bowl berth in more than 20 years.  Things should continue to move upward for Illinois.  And though college basketball season just ended, the 2008-09 season can’t come soon enough; God, I can’t believe Kansas will be recognized as the National Champion for another 51 weeks.

But things don’t always work out the way we foresee them.  Just last year, I looked forward to a dominating season by the defending NFC Champion Chicago Bears, perhaps another trip to the Super Bowl was in order.  Instead, the Bears watched the entire playoffs from home after a 7-9 season. 

Of course, I’m also a part of the fanbase of sports’ perennial Next Year club, the Chicago Cubs.  In case you’ve never paid attention to baseball in your life, the Cubs haven’t won a World Series since 1908.  So this year marks the 100th anniversary of their last crown.  Cubs’ fans should have a trademark on the “Next Year is Our Year” slogan.  They’ve been allegedly cursed by a goat, a black cat and a Bartman, but all that matters is that they haven’t gotten it done.  

But the Cubs are coming off of a division title and are considered by many as a favorite to return to the postseason.  Can this year actually be that next year that we always speak of? 

I see this season being a two-team dogfight in the NL Central between the Cubs and the Milwaukee Brewers.  The Cubs finished two games ahead of the Brew Crew last year, though neither team was expected to do quite that well.  And, frankly, that’s what worries me.  I think back to 2003, when the Cubs won the Central in Dusty Baker’s first year.  On paper, it seemed they were probably a year or two away from legitimate contention, but the team clawed its way to a division crown and eventually found themselves within five outs of heading to the World Series.  Well, we all know how that ended, but 2004 was seen as a season for redemption.  And while the Cubs actually finished one game better than the previous year (89 wins v. 88 in 2003), they collapsed in the final week of the season and missed the playoffs.

Two fairly disastrous seasons followed, then came Lou Piniella.  Similar to the start of the Baker regime, it was believed the Cubs would need a year or two before consideration as a contender.  But the Cubs were the best of a mediocre NL Central in 2007, and earned a spot in the postseason.  Despite a ridiculously bad performance in a first-round sweep at the hands of the Diamondbacks, expectations are high for this year … and that scares me.  I can’t help but think of the 2004 Cubs, who found ways to lose down the stretch and ultimately failed to get back to the playoffs. 

The Cubs have started 2008 winning six of their first ten, but it hasn’t been without bumps in the road.  Sweet Lou has already done some lineup shuffling, Soriano and Ramirez came out of the gates as if they hadn’t swung bats since September, Felix Pie has had to recover from a twisted testicle (?!), and Carlos Zambrano has apparently been suffering from a low potassium diet.  On top of all that, Moises Alou has found it appropriate recently to let everyone know that he really didn’t think he would have caught the infamous Bartman ball in Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS.  Are we being set up here?  

Cubs brass can continue to take pride in the fact that their historic (aka outdated) ballpark draws to a near sellout almost everyday and their team gear flies off of shelves across the country.  But they’ve pumped a great deal of money into the on-field product, and one of these days it has to pay off.  Doesn’t it?

*****

Other observations from the opening two weeks of the MLB season:

Backward standings.  While Opening Day brings hope to all 30 franchises that this may be their year, the pool of potential playoff teams is really only about half that size.  This year is no different, as I (and most others with a finger on the pulse of the game) would see the playoff landscape taking shape from the following field.

AL: Boston, New York, Detroit, Cleveland, Seattle, Los Angeles
NL: New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, Milwaukee, Arizona, Colorado

There are a few others on the fringe - Toronto, Atlanta, San Diego, LA Dodgers - but I’m pretty comfortable taking two teams per division.  And while it’s way too early to play the “If the season ended today …” game, it is worth noting that of the aforementioned 16 teams only one is currently a division leader.  That’s Arizona, which leads the NL West with an 8-2 record. 

This trend certainly won’t last, but it is kind of fun to see some of the frontrunners really struggle.  The Tigers begin with a home sweep at the hands of the Royals?  Big Papi hitting under .100 for the defending champs?  What the hell, since I don’t care much about the American League anyway, wouldn’t it be great to see Fox stuck with first-round playoff matchups of Baltimore v. Kansas City and Chicago v. Oakland?

Fox Saturday Baseball!  Ok, time to pile on Fox a little more.  The good news is that Fox is not waiting until June to start its Saturday baseball coverage.  The bad news is that Fox is not waiting until June to start its Saturday baseball coverage.  That means more of the same bad broadcasters, more the same bad production and more of your favorite teams being blacked out throughout the day. 

How is it that someone hasn’t noticed the fact that all of Fox’s sports coverage needs an overhaul?  This studio show hosted by Jeanne Zelasko is a joke, and there’s no reason Ken Rosenthal should be in front of a camera.  Why do networks continue to use writers as reporters?  There are a lot of qualified people with broadcast journalism degrees out there who would love a shot to fill us in from the sidelines.  Guys like Rosenthal and ESPN’s Tim Kurkjian need to stay in the press box and in front of their computers. 

El Juego de Beisbol. Ok, time to pile on broadcasters/analysts some more.  I have made my criticism of sports broadcasters pretty well known in the past, and I have some new ammunition this year.  Is ESPN doing its best to hire as many mediocre Latino former players as analysts?  The past couple of years have been bad enough in adding Orestes Destrade, Fernando Vina and Eduardo Perez to the mix, now this year’s Opening Day featured the debut of Candy Maldonado.  Yes, I understand how many Latinos are in the game today, but these guys ALL lack the necessary presence to be part of a live game broadcast or a studio show.  Is it possible these are simply jobs that no one else wants? 

The ‘Roid Boy.  Has anyone seen Barry?  Does anyone care?

A Sad State of Affairs

Like a lot of men, probably, I’ve been criticized on many occasions for watching too much sports on television.  And, no, I don’t just watch TV; I read, exercise and spend quality time with my family.  But when it comes to the tube, I have no problem justifying a near monopoly - especially considering the alternatives.

I literally almost got sick this weekend because of something I saw on television, and I’m not talking about watching people eat horse anus on an old Fear Factor episode or the capture and tasting of an island rat on Survivor. 

It was the beginning of Entertainment Tonight, which I never watch but it happened to start as I was transferring a sleeping child from couch to bedroom, blowing out the candles and otherwise continuing the going-to-bed process.  The lead story was about a pregnant guy.  A pregnant guy.  I paid attention to about seven seconds worth of the details before I honestly felt like I could throw up.

My disgust here is really twofold: 1. I was actually physically disgusted; 2. This is somehow not only newsworthy, but it is lead story material.

Wasn’t Entertainment Tonight once a fairly reputable program, routinely run as a lead-in to the network’s primetime lineup?  Like everything else on television these days, ET is obviously way down in the pooper as well.

Garbage like American Idol dominates the ratings, and local news teams are so unoriginal that their rundowns seem to be 90% crime and court coverage.  And it’s politics as usual on the national stage: Iraq, the White House, the campaign trail and gas/oil prices. 

Sadly, this is the crap that people want.  That’s why we keep getting more reality junk, like Dads mindlessly competing against each other in Nickelodeon-type challenges, ”stars” trying out their moves on the dance floor, and adults trying to outwit 5th grade kids on national television.  And that’s why websites like TMZ.com have spun off TV shows and why Britney Spears ends up with a guest spot on an otherwise legitimate primetime sitcom.

It’s just as bad online too.  I recently found a story about 1980s pop singer Rick Astley becoming an Internet sensation, and MSN actually features an ongoing series about motherhood with former Playboy playmate and completely illegitimate celebrity Jenny McCarthy.  

What has our world come to?      

*****

So we come full-circle back to sports now.  Whether it’s local or national, it’s almost all Kansas all the time.  And that’s no good for me.  The few people who might regularly read my rants here surely know how I regard the school that’s a mere 30 minutes from my home, the one that looked to my alma mater to find its coach five years ago and is just a few hours from tip-off on college basketball’s biggest stage tonight.   

I have a brother who attended Kansas.  I have countless friends who went there and proudly wear their allegiance, including the transmission of cell phone text messages stating “Beak ‘Em!” and “Rock Chalk!” after big wins.  This cannot happen tonight. 

I remember 1988, the year of the so-called Danny and the Miracles.  The 6th seeded Jayhawks’ unlikely run through the NCAA Tournament landed them right in Kansas City for the Final Four, and I remember thinking, “Ok, but there’s no way they’ll beat Danny Ferry and Duke.”  And they did.  I remember thinking, “Ok, but there’s no way they’ll beat Stacey King and Oklahoma.”  And they did.  It was not a joyous day for a certain 11-year-old resident of suburban Kansas City, and I’m not ready for that kind of celebration 20 years later as a supposedly mature adult.

Maybe I need to admit that the Jayhawks can indeed win.  They’re a deeper team with a vastly superior frontcourt than Memphis, and they have several guys who are willing to take and capable of making big shots.  Brandon Rush provides the type of long and defensively skilled player that just might be able to put the clamps down on C-USA Player of the Year and All-American wing Chris Douglas-Roberts.  Maybe Mario Chalmers can even slow down freshman PG Derrick Rose, who’s playing like a National POY right now.

I just have to hope with all of my heart that it doesn’t happen.  If it does, then what will I watch?